Premium Vodka Martinis

"Do you make a good martini?" said the red-haired gentleman whilst elbowing his way into a recently
vacated bar space. I say space, because in the continuous flux of the Friday night crowd all the bar stools
had migrated towards one end of the bar.
"Sure," I said, secure in the knowledge that I've made tens of thousands of them.
I looked at him, and he looked at me. There was a brief uncomfortable silence.
"Would you like one?" I said after a few seconds.
"You're sure you make a good one?" he said.
"Pretty sure," I said mulling over the fact that the classic martini has only two ingredients, three if you
count the garnish. In an era where cocktails are moving towards ridiculously complicated recipes, the martini
is a beloved classic because it is so simple.
"What kind would you like?" I said taking the lead in our little dance.
"First rinse the shakers," he said.
"Okay," I said relinquishing the lead.
"Now put in two scoops of ice," he said.
"Add two drops of vermouth," he said directing me like he was Roman Polanski and I was a 17-year-old
eastern European model turned actress.
"Too much," he said. "Start over."
My patience was beginning to wear thin.
Two ounces of our most expensive vodka later his direction continued.
"Now shake it hard," he said. 'Harder," he barked, making me wince like Mia Farrow.
I began to take the top of the shaker.
"Not yet," he said. "Let me feel it," suddenly I had visions of a casting couch somewhere in France.
"What?" I said.
"The shaker, let me feel it."
I held it out for him.
"Not yet," he said making wonder what he was waiting for. Perhaps for his little blue pills to take effect?
"I'd like an olive an onion and a twist," he said depleting my garnish tray considerably.
After several seconds he announced that I could now pour the drink.
"You know," he said after taking a sip. "I went down the street the other day to have a martini."
"And…" I said after another long pause.
"They didn't know how to make a good one," he said.
Long after he left I thought about his comment. I remembered a restaurant that I worked at several years
ago. It was considered by every major publication in the area to be one of the best. As a result it was
$15-$20 an item more expensive than any other restaurant in the area. The chef was classically French and
Chinese trained as well as being a Japanese national familiar with the many nuances of that Asian island's
cuisine. I have never before nor since met anyone who knew as much about food as he did. Even though I
had worked in high-end restaurants for at least 10 years by that time every night was a learning
experience. People were paying top dollar for his experience and his talent. And every night people would
come in and make suggestions and substitutions with his food. Every time someone did so I envisioned them
leaning over Michelangelo's should and telling him that his Mona Lisa needed a little more shading in the
corner.
I thought of my fellow bartender down the street. I'm sure he makes a pretty good martini-I have one or
two of his-but that's because I let him do what he does best. Use his skill and expertise to make the best
drink possible.
Here are some things that he and I know about making premium vodka martinis:
1. Do not use vermouth in premium vodka martinis. Vermouth runs about $6 a bottle, premium vodka is
about $40 a bottle. Vodka has very little flavor and vermouth is quite strong, if you mix the two you'll make
your $40 vodka taste like a $6 vermouth.
2. Use good ice, made from good water. A standard martin is two to three ounces of liquor, but it fills up a
6-ounce glass. That extra volume comes from melted ice. Which means martinis are almost 50 percent
water. I find that filtered water works best, but not too filtered or purified. Distilled water for instance
makes lousy ice because there are not enough solids left in it to make it freeze solid. What you end up with
a slushy mess.
3. Chill your cocktail glass. Ice cold liquor in a warm glass yields a tepid drink.
4. Don't overchill your expensive liquor. Chilling anything reduces our ability to taste. If you are paying top
dollar for a product and you chill it down to a smidge over frozen you will not taste those subtle nuances
that you just dropped big bucks for. The same goes for wine.
5. Choose your garnishes carefully. Oil coated or too strongly flavored olives will take the premium right out
of a perfectly made cocktail.
6. If you have given a bartender more than three instructions in making your drink, the responsibility for it's
outcome is now yours.